Everyone and That Story About House-Elves
by Jume
Summary: Can't think why'd one would want to rate it PG so it's G. I came upon the plot during December, and promptly didn't cultivate it. It's gone now I think.


> --Fifth year, at last!--

Christmas was almost upon the students at Hogwarts. One morning, Hermione received a letter from her parents that a London owl-post office had forwarded as they didn't have an owl. It said: _Dear Hermione, Gran and Grampa have writen us to say that they'd like for you and two friends to visit them for Christmas at their farm. They've a surprise for you that we think you'd enjoy. Love, Your parents._

'Oh great,' Hermione thought,'Whomever am I to invite?' That problem was solved when she walked down to the common room and saw Harry and Ron playing a game of chess. 'Perfect...'

"Oy Harry, Ron, how would you two like to visit my grandparents' farm for Christmas? They've written me to invite me. Oh, come on. If you don't come, I'd have to go alone. They do know I'm a witch. Well, geez. Fine you two be that wa...."

"Kidding Hermione, we'll go, right Ron?" Harry nudged Ron in the ribs. Hermione returned to her dorm to fetch a quill and ink. When she got back, still most of the students were still at lunch. Harry, Ron, Neville, and Seamus were the only ones in the common room. Lavender and Parvati were with Prof. Trelawny, and Dennis and Colin Creevey were searching for secret passageways: a new hobby they'd accquired(probably from Fred and George). She sat down to compose a letter to her parents. Her finished version looked like this: _Dear Mum and Dad, school's fine. Tell Gran and Grampa that I'd love to stay there for Christmas. Tell them we get out of school on the 14th. All my love, Hermione.M_

"Written that letter yet Herm?" Ron had beaten Harry with a simple four move checkmate. Harry was still gaping at the short game. Dennis came in with Colin puffing behind.

"Hey, everyone, I've learnt something in a foreign language." Dennis taunted. "Guess what I will have said... "Yo soy muy aburrido."

"You said that you were very boring, Dennis." Hermione couldn't stop giggling after she said that.

"Wha... Draco said that it meant "Kiss me, I'm Irish", and I am Irish. On Mum's side anyways.

"You trusted Draco Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"Yes, what's wrong with that?" Harry pointed at his head and spun his finger, indicating that Dennis must be mad.

"I'm glad he didn't tell you that Harry, it wouldn't be true."

"Are you sure," Ron asked.

"No!" Hermione said. "Tee hee..." They were wondering why Colin hadn't spoken, and they found out in a few moments.

"Colin, why are you being so quiet?" Dennis said that.

"Well, after you left Draco he put a ballerinus tutolis hex on me, look!" Colin was decked out in a pink tutu, with pink tights, and kept leaping into the air.

"Maybe, we could hire you out to an opera, Colin Creevey, the amazing dancing clown-idiot,"Harry joked.

"S'not funny Harry,"said Hermione when she preformed the counter-hex. Just then, they heard someone arguing with the Fat Lady. Ron went to check, and he found Vincent Crabbe asking to see Hermione.

"Sorry Crabbe. Hermione's already dating someone," Ron lied.

"I don't want to ask her out," Crabbe wailed," I just need to talk to a girl, and the Slytherin girls are too mean." Crabbe had tears dripping off his face from all of his crying." Please Ron, let me talk to her, I don't care that she's dating you."

"What!" Ron bellowed." I am NOT dating Hermione, I'm dating Har... er never mind, I'll run get her. He returned with Hermione and backed away slowly, almost afraid of Crabbe's girlish actions. He left the Fat Lady's picture open."

"So, what's up Crabbe?"

"The sky?"

"I'm game, I heard it on this American television show. So, what is the problem?"

"When I go home for my next break, my mum's making me get a face; she owled me to say that she "hated my ugly mug.""

"I don't see why she said that."

"Neither do I, but I'm afraid. I think that all the guys in my dorm will laugh at me..." He was going to say more, but a house-elf wearing a book cover walked up holding a tea-cup. 

The tea-cup was talking; it said," Kiss me I'm Irish, kiss me I'm Irish, kiss me I'm Irish over and over again."

"What the... a talking tea-cup? Okay, you, house-elf, hand me the tea-cup." Mr. Weasley had appeared! "Hermione, who is this?" 

"Erm, this is, uh,"

"Vincent, I'm Vincent."

"Ah, Hermione, got another boyfriend eh?" Hermione screamed at this and ran back into the common room and up the flight of stairs to her dorm. The people in the room only saw a black and brown blur.

Mr. Weasley came into the common room and said," What is the matter with her? Oh yes, back to the house-elf," finally shutting the picture. Harry heard a lot of angry and very loud words outside. Mr. Weasley pounded on the wall and was asking the kids to open the portrait, and quick.

"Thanks, it was starting to get violent, and I only escaped because I said I'd report it to Dumbledore..." Mr. Weasley was panting. "Ron, did you know Hermione has a boyfriend? I always thought she'd date you..." Hermione leapt back into the room and covered Mr. Weasley's mouth to keep him from saying more.

"Thanks Dad. Hermione's invited Harry and me to go to her grandparents farm over Christmas." Hermione fainted.

"Really? Hermione, er, Hermione... What's wrong with her?"

"She fainted."

"Ah, I see. Well, what are you guys going to do at a farm anyways?"

"I dunno, Harry?"

"I think they may have cattle, pigs, or goats... I'm not much on farms."

"Well, you guys be well behaved, or I'll send this," Mr. Weasley motioned towards the house-elf, "elf after you." He smiled.

"We will, won't we Harry?" Ron nudged Harry back.

> Disclaimer- I don't any aspect of this except the plot, and we haven't gotten into that have we now? J.K.Rowling(characters) and Metma Mandy(plot devices e.g. face lift, tutu, ect.) own it all!!!!


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